It almost feels like the end of summer, as a kid. You know. When summer vacation is over. The good times, family trips, warm days, and late bedtimes are over. School is almost here and it’s time to prepare.
That’s my current mood going into this week. Samar is headed back to the hospital for more procedures to monitor progress and then continue on with the protocol. *Insert prayer request here.*
Having her home for this short period was the highlight of my summer. Watching her play in the backyard, hearing her run around the house, and assuming her position at the dinner table. Just some of the things I took for granted before this journey began. And things I will long for in the weeks and months to come.
In some ways I wish we could have just stayed in the hospital throughout the process. Of course, we were so blessed to even have this time at home. But it makes it just that much harder to return to our “hospital life.”
Back to a life of uber multi-tasking: planning for who will stay with her; who will pick up big brother at school and take him to his martial arts class in the afternoons; who will watch baby brother during the day; thinking about what time I need to get to the hospital to relieve whoever stayed the nights prior but calculating timing with school pick up; thinking about what to pack for the hospital for me, for Samar; juggling the boys in the evening with dinner and bedtime duties; making sure I’ve prepared enough milk for baby brother for the days I won’t be able to nurse him; maintaining a clean house; being mindful of due dates and deadlines all while trying to maintain relationships with each of my kids and my husband.
It’s temporary. I know. We are in the fight of our lives and we do what we need to all for the sake of our baby girl, our family. I’m not complaining. This trial is our journey. Still, all blessings. But you can bet, I’m looking anxiously towards the day when we can have a normal summer vacation; enjoy playtime with all my babies in my bed; when Samar is whole and healthy and our family is together again.